Not a sound..

~Curled on the soft tan material of the Dens couch, she sat. The silence in the room was driving her mental, she wished for a sound, for a voice or any disturbance to interupt the constant hum of nothing. The slow rushing sound of her breath filling her lungs, the steady thumps of her heart the only sounds, so loud in her ears that they seemed magnified by the silence that was swallowing her. Tears that had long since dried on her cheeks now made her skin tight from that salty fluid, the thought of pushing herself to get up and wash her face - refresh herself - was in the back of her mind, yet she lacked the motivation; She was heartbroken and alone. More than anything, she wanted to remove the stake from Christian's heart, to wake her lover, and be held in his arms for hours until every horrible thought and memory of the month gone by had disappeared from her mind. Slowly she pulled her legs into her chest, wrapping slender arms around her toned limbs as she nuzzled her face against her knees and squeezed her eyes tight shut. The sweet scent of her freshly washed hair was of little comfort, even the familar scents of her Den, of the lingering Pack members could not console the emotions she felt just then. The sun had set hours ago, contacting Morton had confirmed that Hayden had not yet left the city - he had invited her over, for dinner perhaps.. she could almost hear his concern for her in his voice - perhaps seeing her in Wolf form had been too much - but she had declined. She wouldn't leave the area, couldn't incase something were to happen in her absence. Instead she had sat alone, in the dark cave that was once her home, and cried until her lungs had burned, her head had throbbed and she could find no more tears to shed. And still, the night hours passed leaving her sitting here now, alone, tired and far too stressed and emotional to sleep. With a heavy sigh she unwrapped her arms from her legs and reached for her cellphone that rested quietly on the table, so silently, and pressed the 'On' button until the display screen would come to life. Each number was slowly pressed into the phone, as if she was considering with every number her options and if this choice was a good idea.. until finally it was ringing, and she pressed the tiny device to her ear to wait... two, then three rings.. and finally a voice, a short 'Yo', over the line as Deeks word shattered that silence that threatened to consume her entirely. Her voice was soft, the words catching in her throat so she would have to give a soft clearing before being able to speak - so many hours had passed...~

Deek, could you come over awhile?

Emotion.

~The visit from the always impressive Morton had compelled her to make her Change, she could feel her perceptions of the world around her slowly changing, shifting and knew that it was time she allowed herself to once again be mortal, to Change and allow her body to be Human and to feel and see everything that came along with that. At first she had felt very little, her hands pressing into the soft earth of the forest, nails instantly digging into the dirt before she pushed herself up from the ground to stand on her shaking limbs. The cool wind brought goosebumps to her damp, bare flesh as she slowly scanned the area to assure she was indeed alone. Confident she was safe, she took her first steps in nearly a week of being Wolf, and could feel the unease in her legs, the burning sensation tear through muscles that hadn't been used in all those passing days and flinched, if only for a moment. Her balance was off, but her jaw set and she pushed herself to just continue moving, her hand reaching for the trunk of an old oak that had seen better days to steady herself for the moment. She was beauty in all its forms, her body perfect porportions, full lush curves with her curled chocolate hair reaching to nearly her lower back. Flesh so golden and vibrant it would make most wish for such a flawless complextion. Of course, these traits she possessed had everything to do with her Lycanthrope genes, and the breeding of her Pack. Slow, deep breaths of the Spring air helped clear her mind, allowed the irritating lingering pains of her muscle twitches fade away until she was once more moving for her Den. A shower would be taken, a call made to Morton to discuss what he had already said - yet she had not understood completely. Already she could feel the sorrow of being without her Brujah seeping back into her body, the heart ache of being alone all these weeks and the uncertainty of when or even if she would ever have him again. The urge to climb into his tomb, to curl her body against his unmoving, and very dead one was almost unreal - she was familar with cravings, delt with them nearly on a daily basis - but this one, this was much different and she found herself in a constant internal battle. It was important to leave his resting place untouched, keep it unnoticed and away from any waiting eyes. Her visiting him daily would only draw attention, and so for his safety, and hers, she kept her distance although it pained her to do so. Soon, she'd tell herself. Very soon Hayden would leave, and she could once again see Christian, feel him, hear him and taste him... god she fucking longed for him.~

Cravings.

~One day seemed to bleed into the next, no end in sight, though she was beginning to feel numb about it all. Nearly two weeks had passed since she had last been in her Mortal form, since she has last taken a step on two legs instead of four - since she had last spoken a word, given an update, or even touched someone else. She stayed, faithfully, at Christians tomb. Sleeping, watching, protecting it from any threats that dared to come on her territory, and it was hers - these woods, the fucking land, she belonged to it just as much as it belonged to her. Her urges had started up, she was forgetting quickly what the world looked like through human eyes - the entire idea sounded strange and foreign as she ran it through her mind. She had ventured today for the first time from her usual routine patrol of the area - the scent of deer heavy on the breeze, the grumble of her stomach telling her to seek the source. She had hesitated, almost for too long as she struggled with her strong sense of loyalty to her Brujah, and the urgency of her hunger pains until finally, she had gone on that hunt - and completed it sucesfully only to wander back home with her belly so full of fresh meat that she could barely force herself to make that long trip back to the cave where he slept. She had slept nearly the entire night away, laying on her side, her stomach swollen as she panted softly - lazy. It had been then that the Prince had decided to visit. While the blood of the deer dried to a crusty rust colour on her furred muzzle, her ears twitching with the sounds of the approaching foot steps, golden eyes catching the light of the moon as she was watchful, waiting. Morton, he had come - with news of the departing Hayden she could only hope. So suddenly, as easily as all those human emotions had left her body they came rushing back - hopeful for the news that she could wake her Brute, her heart fluttered as she pulled herself up from the warm earth, belly hanging low as her body tried to digest the food she had gulped. But as she trotted out, he merely looked at her - not surprised, nor shocked, he just watched with careful serious eyes. She felt no threat, he wasn't here to find the Brujah.. he had come for her, she could tell as much in his stance. Keeping the distance between them she saw no reason to change forms, to speak to him in those moments.. she was content just as she was. So a tilt of her head was given, noise tweaking to sniff his scent on the breeze before she would sit back on her haunches shifting until she felt comfortable and then gave him her full attention. His lips moved, and instantly followed her twitching ears, trying to pick up and understand the words he was saying - though it was broken, it sounded wrong and made no sense. She focused on his body, on his movement and the was his features changed with the tones he spoke - it seemed like he was making small talk. No news? She wanted to ask, wanted to get to the point, was Hayden gone? Were they safe, had putting her Brujah to sleep in Torpor for the past month helped or would that Vampire continue to hunt them, without easing up - backing off. The sweet scent of Mortons cigars had her head tilting up, sniffing that cool, fresh breeze that mingled with a smell that belonged only to the Prince that she knew.. his first visit, what had taken him so long - had he worried of her, had he expected a call? She was busy, surely he understood this much. Impatience got the better of her, and with a toss of her head, silver fur shimmering in the bathing moonlight above she let a soft gruff of a bark cut off the words that spilled from his mouth. He stopped, seeming unsure, uncertain of their communications and perhaps realizing now that she hadn't a clue what he spoke of.. or maybe, that she had no interest in it at all - she wasn't a mind reader, all she could do was watch to see his reactions and guess based on those. Silence surrounded them, the darkness closing in, reminding her how very alone she was out there - how isolated they both were in that clearing. Finally he shook his head, watched her with interest and then turned to leave, to walk back to wherever he had parked his vehicle.. far away, she hadn't picked up the scent or sounds of it.. So there was no news, she still could not wake her Lover and Hayden still loomed within the city walls... ~

Making the rounds.

~Visiting the Docks last night had gone as smooth as could be expected, Deek seemed to have everything under control - though the real surprise had been seeing that Pomme de Sang hanging there with him. Apparently she had been with him to work before, helping him keep everything in order while the shipments went in and out of dock. Of course, since she was there why not ask her for a few more viels of her blood - to save the trouble of hunting her down in the coming weeks while preparing for Christian's wakening. Deciding to stay the rest of the evening, catching the work orders up, finishing off some paper work and allowing Deek the time to get his hands a little dirty and get the shit out and on the market she decided to stay even after most of the staff, and the young Brujah had retired for the daylight. It was longer than she had expected to stay away from Christians resting place, but how could she leave when all that work needed to be done. No word of Morton making a surprise visit had been spread, so perhaps the Prince of the city would leave her - and Christian's business the fuck alone while the Brute rested in Torpor. Kate had stayed with her into the morning hours, being at least somewhat helpful, though she had expected to get paid for her assistance - what the fuck ever, she could write Christian a bill. The girl had promised to show up in a couple weeks to 'donate' some more of her rather exspensive blood in order to feed it to Christian without having that kid around. THe last thing she needed was him going freakin crazy and trying to suck the Pomme dry, which of course, would end up with a Frenzy and then they'd have a whole new set of problems on their hands.~

~It was nearly the afternoon by the time she had finished at the Docks, paper work just wasn't all that exciting and there were a lot of smaller details that needed to be paid attention to. Christian hadn't had time to wrap all his loose ends up do to the fashion in which this whole Torpor thing had taken place - but she had done what had needed to be done, or at least that was what she was now telling herself. With lack of sleep, she had driven herself back to the Den in that large truck, swinging by the Loft to make sure that nothing was wrong on the home front, and picking up something to eat since it had been hours. Once back at the Den, she first checked on Christians resting spot - satisfied that nothing had changed since she left - and then once scouting the area to make sure she was alone had shifted back into her Wolf form. Finding a warm, comfortable spot in the sun that was out of view from anyone who might come to visit her at the Den - but still allowed her a direct visual of the hidding spot of her Lover, Christian, she slept - ears constantly twitching, waking at even the smallest noise to check it out... she'd run herself right into the ground if she kept this shit up.~

Guard Dog.

~How long had it been since she had stayed in her Wolf form for an entire 24 hour period, years maybe, before Christian? Once he had been settled into hidding, concealed along the rock wall with such skill that any who would find him would instantly be cause for alarm and be considered as a threat. She had laid out in the sun, bathing herself in its warmth for the daylight hours - certain no one would bother his resting place while the sun was still raised high in the air - but refused to leave, and allow them even a chance to consider it. Her evening would be spent hunting, feeding - never once trailing too far from her home or from his place of rest - always within hearing distance. She planned on staying in this form for nearly the entire time, of course she had promised to stop by the Docks now and again, making sure Deek was 'alive' and handing things as well as could be expected. But, even then it would be a short trip out - perhaps she'd stop by Mortons before heading back to the woods to speak with him in reguards to Hayden, and if he still loomed within the city walls. Morton had been the only one she had spoken to, advising him, as her sobs came over the line, that Christian had been put into Torpor as they had discussed and of course asking him what proof she could possibly come up with to prove that she was telling the turth. The call had seemed enough, he had said some comforting words that she was unable to hear over her crying and they had both hung up - fine, it was done. The only other contact she had made after stabbing Christian through the heart had been to Deek - and she hadn't said a word, only listened to the sharp ringing of the line until he had picked up and in lazy slang after waking early in the evening had mummbled a greeting before she hung up. It was only to check and make sure that putting Christian to sleep hadn't cause the young Brujah any harm.. so the sound of his voice had been more than enough.

Golden Wolf eyes scanned her surrounding, eyeing the darkness that surrounded the Den and the dense forest beyond - hunting. Patience would be tested, since she refused to leave the immediate area she would have to wait motionless for opportunities, both large and small, to feed and keep herself strong. Of course, if she couldn't find herself a meal there was always the option of switching back to her Mortal form.. but that put her in a weaker state, and if Hayden himself were to show up.. it was a risk she would have rather not taken.~

Christian is gone, and I'm alone.

~It may have been one of the most difficult tasks she had ever been forced to do, but still, she had done it. Driving that stake into her Lovers heart, sending him into Torpor.. if you would have asked her years earlier if she would have believed herself capible of such a task she would have replied confidently with a shake of her head, sending those pretty chocolate locks into her face and whispered 'never'. Yet, after all that had happened, there was little choice. Hayden was looming in the city of Detroit, the streets were becoming crowded with Power and threats. Christian's humanity had dropped to a dangerous level and Morton, Prince of the city had had enough - it was time, as he had put it, to put Christian to sleep, to regain his control and allow him to build back his humanity. The fear had been there, that Morton himself would take control of this task - but with begging, pleading, she had managed to persude the Elder to allow her the control to 'save' him. Is that was she was doing... saving her Brujah from himself? It hadn't felt that way as he had demanded she release him, as she held him against his will, chained to the table with no escape and had literally forced her Lover into Torpor.

It wasn't supposed to be that way, he was supposed to be ready, willing to do this to keep them both safe from Hayden and his wrath. Did it matter how they had gotten there, or was it the final result that mattered - Hayden would get tired of being unable to locate the Brujah, or at the very least, hopefully decide he was of no threat, and leave the city. Once that was done, she could wake him... and he should 'live' yet again, return to their world. Or at least that was what he had told her, had promised would happen - he would return. Her heart ached at the very thought of him not returning, her fears eating at her constantly for the weeks leading up to this moment, and now, through the hours that had passed. She had to believe he hadn't lied, that he'd be in her life again soon enough, but after this passing year... was it silly to believe in anything.. no amount of praying, begging, faith or hope would fix the past - what was done, was done and there was no going back. ~